Only when I stop to think about you, I know. Only when you stop to think about me, do you know? I hate everything about you, why do you I love you? You hate everything about me, why do you love me? I hate. You hate. I hate. You love me.
You know I underestimated being here. I actually do like this nice relaxation. I like being around a loving family. I like getting cooked dinner and everyone sitting at the table at the same time rather than everyone fends for themselfs and if something is actually made for everyone we all go in different directions. This is actually nice. I’m getting to know my Aunt Cheryl all over again because sometimes I don’t really get to know a lot about my family. There’s just too many of us. I’m also getting to know Aunt Erika all over again. I mean she was apart of my life for so many years and then she left for so many years too so people do change. She’s not so harsh as she was when she lived with me which is a really good thing. I’ll take a chance on Brittany tomorrow to see how that goes. I don’t want to look for failure so everything can seem negative; I should just try to make the best out of the situations at hand. I mean I might actually have fun.
I have realized that this vacation wasn’t about having the most fun by partying and doing all the stuff I could just do when I get back to Jersey. This vacation was relaxing and getting away from all the hecticness of my life. It was to help me wash away my worries and spend a little more time with my family. To get to know the other side and not just the people I see everyday. I actually have enjoyed this vacation and I hope for the best during my last days.
They are so freaking ridiculous. Like damn boy I don’t want you please stop insisting :laughs:. Ugh, do you understand how pathetic you sound? Really I don’t think you do. I should like save a conversation and post it on your facebook or something so everyone can see how disgusting your making yourself look.
Me and Gonzo were having a conversation today through text and I came up of an estimate that 98% of guys are assholes. Then there’s the 2% of guys that actually have feelings and want commitment and not just hit it and quit it. I have found some good guys, I mean there was Felipe, and there was Michael, and uhm Carlos is a good guy but that’s just my close friend right there. Yea, that’s the only people I can think of; maybe Wes, but I don’t know him enough to make that judgement right away. He’s probably one of the 98% for all that I know. Oh well life goes on.
Man how I wish my brother Timmy was here. We would have went to the clubs drank and had a great time, but since he’s not here I’m stuck with just the family. I mean it’s not bad that I’m with them, but I’m not to close to everyone else here. You know who I really want to see? Tenaka. I had a crush on him when I was younger and came to Florida for a month. My brother had told me that he liked me as well, but he told him to not hit on me or stay away, I don’t rememeber which one (-_-). Of course my over protective brother would say something like that, but I understood his reasoning which we will not go into. I wonder how much he changed. My Aunt Cheryl told me that he was here like last week :darn:. Then I asked her if Christian or Sheila was around and she said no too, ugh. I was dissapointed. I would’ve like to have someone around my age around. Sooooo, my aunt tells me how there’s this girl Brittany that lives close by that was with me on my vacation, but the only problem is that she’s younger than me. She came over and I can see her mentality is younger then me too; so not cool. Oh well she offered to hang out one day this week; I guess I’ll see how that goes.
I miss my bestfriends!
I miss my cousin Slappy!
I miss my close friends!
I miss my buddies!
I miss my boos!
I hate that I’m around babies all day, I can’t take it. Thanks Aunt Erika for bringing me to this beautiful weather, but can I please go back home now, okay thanks.
I’m finally here, yay. I’ve been here since yesterday, but it wasn’t really a full day in Key West, it was more like a “hi, goodnight.” That plane ride took forever man, ugh. First it was about a 2 hour ride to Atlanta, GA and then a two hour wait for my next plane. When finally going to the next plane it was another hour and a half ride. I was so tired. I wanted to sleep on the plane, but I couldn’t cause I had to help my aunt watch her two babies. What a pain they were. They just helped me through my already concluded suggesion of not ever having kids. My views my change in the future, but right now nope. Well I finally got into my Aunt Cheryl’s house and watched Pirates of the Carribean 3 which I really liked. Then I got really tired and just headed to bed. I didn’t know I can still text from a long distance, but I guess I can which is pretty cool. I got into an arguement with a ‘friend’ (-_-). Yea, I’m so not going to deal with bullshit anymore. Every guy that is a friend acts exactly the same if their straight. Here’s a line that I heard “I don’t want to get attached.” Uhm, okay? What is that supposed to mean? Is that why you always end up dissapearing? Like we’re just friends, but once you get a girlfriend you always act like I don’t exist like wtf man. People just annoy me in general especially girls that I’m not already friends with. If you’re not a pretty fashionista, or have the same sarcasticness as me, or are gay then we should not even talk at all because I know for a fact I’m not going to like you and if you push me to that point I will crush you down to the size of an aunt, k thanks. But anyways, I have a sunburn now for laying outside in the sun, oh and I have a funny sunline because I had shorts on instead of my batheing suit, but oh well no ones going to see me naked so I don’t have anything to worry about. By the time summer comes it’ll be gone away. My hand is hurting from typing too fast so I’m done.
I finally got you back! I’ve missed you so much. I have texted soooooooooo many people just to tell them I have my phone again :haha:. I felt silly, but oh well I don’t care. My bestfriend Daniel was the first person I texted. I love you.
I was hanging out with my soulmate and Leo yesterday and those other people that were there. Yea, it was uhm alright. Neh, I’m not going to lie it was pretty awkward. I should’ve just went home at around 11 because I would’ve woken up for class and I could’ve seen Josh boo right after. Things would’ve been great ;]. Then I would’ve went home packed for Florida really quick and get ready for work, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooo I’m a dummy and stayed hanging out with them. It stopped being fun since we left Banana King. I wanted to cherish my fly time, but it was ruined -_-. I hope Josh isn’t mad ‘cause I was so tired this morning that I didn’t go see him. Like he really wanted to see me before my vacation, but I had no energy so I was not going alll the way to Jersey City and then go all the way back home to get ready and then go to work; oh hell no. Aw, okay he just texted back, he’s not mad :kisses:.
Well gotta finish getting ready for work, toodles.
You will always be just you because your not worth fighting for. Your not special to my life. I get an blank feeling when your around because I know you shouldn’t be. We’re not friends, we’re nothing.
But him, he’s something. I don’t know how long I can wait, but forever doesn’t seem long enough. Who knows if we’d ever be together again, but I always want to stay your friend. Common, I love you with flaws and all.
Today should be a very interesting day, I cross my fingers in hope that I work today because the more hours I get, the better it is for me to catch up on all of my lost money. I feel like I have nothing. I was always the one who had the job and everyone else didn’t. For a while I knew how they felt when they were jobless. Now I got lucky again and finally got a new job. It’s not so bad I mean except the ghetto music and “blame it on the alcohol” song which I truely hate now after hearing it like 5 times in the row -_-. It was an alright song, but now it’s just plain horrible. Anyways, the job is an ordinary boring job that doesn’t require a lot of thinking. Even when I went for the interview I wasn’t nervous at all I was like yea whatever I’ll get this job :laughs:. And guess what? Needless to say I got the job. Yay! I was happy, well happy on the inside cause 10 spot is so chongalicious. Maybe they won’t notice that I’m not going to wear their clothes. I mean I had to take care of like 3 sections and I saw not one nice piece of clothing. Everything in there is so freshman year when I went through that “phase” that everyone goes through. I have 20 hours this week which is good to start off with so I’m happy about that. I hope next week they give me around the same amount.
Besides that I took my psychology midterm today. Yea so uhm like I studied my book in detail for nothing. I was so mad when I saw that test and was like wha the? I better get a hundred or atleast a 90 cause this shizzle is easy. I do admit I do know one question I got wrong because I mixed neurotransmitters with neurons, but oh well atleast that’s a logical mistake. I’m happy to say that I should be getting an A for my midterm grade. I hope I keep up my average cause lately I’ve been slacking like crazy and I don’t even know why cause I look back at this work that I have to do every week and it is freaking cake.
So tonight I’m going to hang with Leo and his friends. This should be interesting. I haven’t seen or talked to him in so long, I think since the summer and we’re going to be under the influence of whatever so we should have some good times. I so wanna play flip cup because me and beer pong uhm yea we don’t work good together haha. We might be floating and flying tonight; Rutgers here we come. The plan was to stay over there, but since him and his friend have school tomorrow that plan went out the window. Oh well, better for me ‘cause mister Leo said he would’ve pulled a prank on me if I got too fucked up. Not cool -_-. He swears he can roll good like wha the, don’t lie to yourself :lol:. I’m just kidding buddy you know I sort of luv you. I put luv because that’s the friend version of love.
How is it that people come and go in your life like it’s the new trend. You don’t really know who you should care about or who you should talk to or who you should try with. Everyone other than your close friends are just strangers of this world. Why enter in your life anyways if there isn’t any purpose?
People now-a-days believe in “fate” and that “fate” brought these two people together and that fate made you and him be forever. You know what I have to say to that? That’s just one chunk of bullshit. People just live their life and if they come across someone else it’s just a coincidence. “Fate” didn’t bring you together, will power brought you together. The will to make conversation, even if it’s meaningless.
I’m interested in the way the mind thinks. Why does someone say the words that they express? Why is it they feel a type of way towards you compared to another? Why do you act a certain way with different people or act the same towards all? What’s our purpose and reason?
So my feet are KILLING ME! I haven’t had so many blisters in so many different parts of my feet ever, ah. Geo said “ew” when I told him and he swears he has “feet of steal.” Yea, Ok, Geo you just have some good ass shoes. Well, anyways, yesterday was a very interesting night. Me, Danny, and Kareem bought liquor and instead of being smart and drinking in New Jersey where it’s so much easier to be relaxed we go to NYC like idiot and try to find a place. Yea that didn’t work out so good. So we find some place and we start drinking and someone from a building across from us takes a picture of us like wha the? We get paranoid and leave than we go to a walkway and drink and I get sick. After I’m done getting sick I’m like fuck it I’m going to get my money’s worth and finish the bottle. We all had another bottle left that we didn’t finish and left in New York, ugh. But whatever I didn’t care cause I was so not going back for it :laugh out loud:. Ok well than we go to Splash and they don’t let us in cause it’s 21 and older Friday and same for Rush so we’re like “ugh” let’s go to Escos. So we go and it end up being really fun :smiles:. Well except for the part where I was dancing like crazy and got really dizzy. Me and Danny were on spotlight so many times and than me and Kareem too when we were dancing merengue. Good times. I love to dance. Well the only bad part was my throbbing feet and the hoodrats at the club. So that coat check too forever man, but whatever. So than after having fun we leave and I by a hotdog which made me more hungry ahh! Than we get on the bus and knock out, I wake up and wake up Danny and than Kareem goes to sit next to me, then we knocked out and didn’t wake up until we got to 78th street 8-|. I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come out cause I was too tired. Off to quickchek! I had a yummy hashbrown and stold a vitamin water. That helped me for my longggggggggggggggg ass walk. I leave Kareem and I walk like a snail to the lightrail which takes a half hour to come so I don’t egt home til 6:20am. I’m so damn tired. I think I might take a nap.
Noun: something kept or to be kept hidden: the secrets of Katie
You never know who you can confide to keep these secrets locked in their mind, but you hope it would be a close friend or family member. That isn’t always the case. Secrets should just be kept to yourself. At any point and time everything can be exploided. Someone can start saying something and never stop. Now everything is left out in the open. Hm, so what to do next? Secretively lock your secrets in an imaginary secret box and through away the secret key.
So I am really hyper 8-| and I just made the hottest moves to Walk it out merengue remix. Like I mixed in merengue and reggaeton and hip hop ah amazing. I don’t even remember what I just did. Darn me. I just get into that mood and everything just flows out my veins then when the song is over my adrenaline slows down and I get a lost of memory, gr. And then El Strip Club came on! I needed Danny to dance with :my official dance partner for life:. Now I’m listening to Salio El Sol it’s like a dance factor remix :laughs:. Okay I’m done with my hyperness. I just needed to get this off my chest.
I’m in distress, but that won’t phase me ‘cause I’m an optimist. I believe I will come out of this cellphone problem eventually. It just takes a little time and a little money. Wish me luck for tomorrow.
She sits there contemplating, staring at this blank sheet on the screen. What to write, what to write? Her thoughts are clouded by an imaginary green fog in her mind. Green is her favorite so that’s why she picked that color.
She needs a little inspiration, but from who, from where, from what? Maybe the sweet melodies of “The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows?” Yes, that did the trick, “wasting words on lower cases and capitals.” The lights are now dimming upon her presence as she tries to form an idea. She rambles on: a monotonous heart, a forbidden mind, a secret soul. She feels as if she is wasting her own words like these lyrics.
Why am I talking in the third person? Haha, I don’t know it’s kind of fun. Well I think Katie needs to do something more productive with her time; maybe some Homework!
I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back. You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'